Nocturnal Mutant Dying From Mental Caffeine Overdose

My over-reactive brain cells is detoriating my physical & mental health. I dont drink coffee or inject myself with steroids, but my brains seem to be inhaling caffeine from the air, its always awake! I dont sleep in the nights & I dont sleep in the days and half the time I will be zombing my way through.
I have tried numerous ways to cure this insomiatic sydrome. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to survived through so many days without proper sleep. Until recently I have to admit that my age is catching up with my mind's games.
One time I was asleep ( finally ) and after only 2 hours of sleep I suddenly woke up, guess what? My brain's awaked but my body is not! I was paralysed for quite a while! I had to crawl out of my room and my brains were giving me giddy spells signals. Damn! This is really bad!
Another time, I woke up in shocked, and yes again my brain's was wide awaked and my body was still trying to wakie, guess wad, I managed to walk fast, yes fast enough to walk into my kitchen's wall and I juz collapsed flat on the floor seeing stars & birds all over my ceiling.
If this continue, I may consider joining the suicide bombers' squad and * CHi BA Boom * myself so I dont have to suffer from this insomia problem. Any1 out there!! GimmiE remedy NOW!!!

Almost Emotionally Bankrupt

Thursdays are the days I will be so emotionally drained out till I forget almost everything, sometimes I even forget why the fug am I living on this planet with so many idiots with Etiquettes from HELL!!
First I gotto deal with my Music job, retarded music clients & now, SSC customers & SSC staff, what the hell manz, do I looked like I offer SOS services?? OK even if I do, its all out of sincerity that I try to help with whatever unhappiness you cannot deal with, BUT please! If you wanna give me Etiquette-Hell, DONT tell me your freakking problems!! You think I so damn free ah?? Call 1800-helpline or something. DONT make me feel like an idiot talking to you, its NOT nice manz! DONT just go on blabbering how is it that its the whole damn world's fault but yourselves. FUG OFF manz! If everyone is so freakking narrow minded and unhappy, fuggin quit your job lah! Why create Xtra poliitics, as if we dont have it enough at SSC! Why cant you just GO to work, mind your own blardy business, earn your blardy cash, Do what you freakking supposed to do and FUG off home and sleep. Why all those endless complains? Why be such a pain in de arse? Gourd! Tell me why Please!!
Its very simple guys, if you want to complain, blardy hell look @ urself first, and if you wanna speak to me about your problems, fine! Can tell me!! When you speak I listen, when I speak you listen too! Basic respect manz!! Dont need to be very highly educated to understand what simple Etiquettes are!
It is really not that difficult to work in the service-line my friends, just manners & freakking COMMON SENSE! SO you better wake up your blardy idea before your blardy EGO destroy you! SO drained out talking to you guys! oh Gourd!!! Give me strength please!!

Kill Da Television!

The worst thing that was ever invented is the television. I believed all the ugliest sides of humankind are all learned from what is being portrayed on the TV.

I simply dont understand why people watch televison shows ESPECIALLY local productions, damn! All of them sux big time! Not only the shows are retarded & contradicting, the advertisements are freakking annoying also.

Monkey see monkey do, people got no brains of their own, all follow the TV reel characters. Look around you now~ ALL posuers manz! Nobody's real anymore!! I really dont see any reasons to watch TV anymore and I have a list of my reasons..

> News , all bad news, and the more I watch, the more racist and depress I get.
> Reality shows , lets you see the ugly side of human beings which makes me depressed as well.
> SG serial shows , bad acting & irritating characters, makes me more confused & irritated.
> Commercials , make me more materialistic and spent more money.
> Fashion shows , make me feel inferior to the anorexic women.
> Crime Watch , make me improved on my criminal skills.
> Idol shows , nothing but posuers , makes me think if I am really normal after watching these people.
> Charity Shows , money suckin show , make people do charity for all the wrong reasons.
> Variety Shows , thats the most retarded one , with bad hosts , disgusting.
> And Many Many more!! You name it I've got reasons for it!

You see why would I want to waste money, waste electricity & my time turning on the TV only to bring out the worst out of myself? The more TVs , The more bad eggs you are gonna get, trust me... Just freaking BOMB YOUR TELEVISION!! * Chi BAA BOOOM *

UnXpectedly Spunky & Khoo!

I have a Love-Hate relationship with these 2 friends or fiends u see here. Whenever I have supper with them, I can imagine myself sitting on a electrical chair waiting for my death parole. The trills, the chills, the fear , the suspense, the goosebumps & of coz the shock after everything which leaves my brains fried... hurhur.. but I LIKE! LOL!

Shirlyn aka Spunky Munkee with a supa-dupa vox, is my friend, my discipline master, my babysitter , and my idol. She fried my brains too many a time liao, shock shock & more shock, which make me like this now.. hehe ( for better or for worst u judge ) BUT one thing I can be very sure of is.. I give her my full pledge respect * salutes * coz she is everything I wanted to be, in every aspect of life. Love her to bits manz! Well, what do you expect from someone who is from UnXpected anyways? Long Lived Spunky!

Brandon DA Khoo man is the guy with drums sticks hitting on his drum sets all da way to ALL women alive. He taught me how to be opened minded, yeah, now me mind so opened until all my brains fall out. His eyes are super-laser-censors, can see & identify which directions the " hong " comes from miles away! Wah power sial! I feel like singing to him " Feng Chong Na Ni Lai " , Well in short, I call him my Super "Hong" Friend! He is 1 hilarious guy to meet. BUT when it comes to drums, he is not funny anymore, he is damn good, something I will never be able to achieve in this lifetime * salutes * ! Again, what do you expect someone who is from the UnXpected? They are cool peepz that Shock you up and down! Long Lived Brandon!

Check these peepz from the UnXpected band @ WalaWala on Thursdays & Saturdays NOW or regret! Long Lived UnXpected!!!

Ben's Bitches

Ben's Bitches is a M'sia band, I swear they are freaking hilarious!! I laff until I almost had a fit! LOFL!! They are so damn lame it gets u rolling on the floor. I am trying to get a hold on their Album manz! Check out their songs @ de link below...

http://www.i-bands.net/audiovault/bands/242/music.php

MUST listen!! especially >>

-Peter the Pirate
-Ah Beng Emo Metal Love Song


WHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA!!

Guess Where Am I?

Guess Where is this place?
I give you Clues..

- Its an island

- 4 different kind of species lives in the island

Yellow Blood Suckin Leeches
Brown Lazy & Useless Worms
Dark Brown Irritating & Dirty Cockroaches
White Good for Nothing Maggots

- A place where the Bored Dragon* a leech breed from the inFamous KY's gel , rules.

* How do you say Bored Dragon in Hokkien?


GUESS WHERE AM I?

My NeverEnding Quest to Butcher Butches

Fill in Da Missing Finger you dumbo Butches!


Butches are the most useless 'tau kuaz' in the Gay community. They are a bunch of confused binded-up women who probably got hurt really badly by a guy in the past relationship and then decide to go after girls. I dont like them, the public dont like them because just by looking at them you feel constipated.
Butches have this inbalanced egoistic hormones inside their feminine bodies, they want to be Macho MEN when they are women, so they dress up like men, speak like men, they even bind to hide their bosoms coz they dont have the courage to remove their breasts, you Low class Posuers!!!
They want All respects of a man as well as All the privileges as a lady.. wad da Fug? You see them lingering around in a ladies nite dressing up like a man and expecting a free lady's drink? Yah rite, Slap you den you noe! Den what happens to the transversite when he comes into a ladies nite? Do we need to give him a lady's drink?? NO! I tell you they have more dignity then you do manz, they buy their own drinks!
Butches, if you have a courage of a MAN, you go for a sex change, go flatten your chest, remove your ovaries & womb and install that "thang". Dun need to waste your money on binds, masking tapes, dildos or wad-so-ever. Get REAL! Learn from the 'sistaz' in the gay community , they go all their way out to reveal on the outside what they feel on the inside.. that's what I mean by GET REAL!
I think the Butch community need to be eliminated from the Gay world because they are a bunch of Wussie-Poseurs who have no respects for others & no respects for themselves. You butches are so damn confused until you start fuggin amongst yourselves with your new label.. "PURE BUTCH"... PUIZ! Simply Disgusting manz! Please lah, dont go around antagonising people lah, make the world a better place for us to live in, go KILL yourselves! You scums dont deserve the free oxygen manz! PUIZ! Shame on you BUTCHES!

Instant Idiot, Just Add Alcohol ~ Part 2

Want somemore drunk-women-stories.. here you go..
Location : SSC
Event : Ladies Night ( Thurs )

Ok, its always the case, drunk women likes to lock themselves up in the toilet cubicle....naked. Dun ask me why but it always happens, the worst was this woman, she was completely naked ( and stinko ) sitting on de toilet bowl completely knocked out by the alcohol. Belle had to climb into the cubicle and unlock the toilet door so all of us can go in, I tried speaking to her but no response, then i shaked her, no response, then I took the hose and spray water all over her, still no response.. So bo bian gotto dress her up with her soiled clothes so that the guys could carry her out ( well you dun expect the guys to carry her out naked ) Wah rao! I thought dress her up, like dressing barbie doll up, so easy, scarli, this woman, she wore girdles, if we dont hlp her wear her girdles, we wont be able to pull her pants up & her pants is damn tight!! It took 5 girls to hold her up and 3 girls to pull her girdles & pants up! Wad da hell?? We decided to leave her bra in her bag and we slip her top over for her. After that we got the guys to come in to carry her out, they didnt handle her properly, as they carry her thru the cubicle..WHAM! her head kena de cubicle door, and ..WHAM! another time kena the main toilet door, we could see a bump growing on her forehead, well after 2 WHAMS! she is still not responsive. All we needed to was to get her out of the toilet out of de club and we left her with her husband's friend in a nearby hotel... husband's friend?? Yeah her hubby was missing when she was hidding in de toilet. I dunnoe wad happened after that.
The next time when she saw us, she was just telling us how bad her head hurts when she woke up after that night, we just gave her a sly smile. hehehe.. oh well we did our best liao!

Instant Idiot, Just Add Alcohol ~ Part 1

Every Thursday is Ladies Night @ SSC, Its always jammed packed inside with 'some kinda weird human species' .. they dont seem normal to me.
I hate the women on ladies night, their pattern is like, we-come-out-free-drinks-they-come-out-their-lives kinda, drink until like there's no tomorrow. Then in the end they embarrass themselves when they get pissed drunk. Shall highlight a little about tonight's shift..
Have you spoken to a drunk woman before? I suggest NOT coz they smell BAD, especially when they have Vodka & Cranberry, that concoction itself smells like puke , plus them hurling their breath at you when they speak to u....yuckz.. it's really a BIG turned off! Just tonight, got one super-wasted woman was trying to speak to me, just when she finished speaking , she turned into a MERLION suddenly! Wah! Good thing I jumped away fast manz! Everyone around her could SEE what she had eaten for the day, and she is super stinky & the whole club stunk like HER after that! No one dared to go near her coz she was like a stinko-seaweed-octopus spinning around ( dunnoe she dancing to the beat or if she is giddy ) All her belongings & friends cannot be found ...so in the end the bouncers gotto pull her to one of the outside tables, and there, she coma alone.. SO pathetic right, so pathetic until I have got a parody for her.. in the tune of Lickie Mati's ' SHE BANGS ' ( chorus only ) My version ' SHE STINKS! '

( chorus ) She Stinks! She Stinks!
Oh my Gawd when She Spins, She Spins,
I go crazy, cause..
She looks like a Human BUT she Stinks like a PIG
Coma alone and she's history...
She STINKS!

She is NOT de only one. I have many more drunk women incidents to relate, too many to type now coz I am 'high' due to inhaling too much rotten air in the club .. shall write more when I wakie .. that's ALL for now folkz!

The Talking Cock Peanut Note

I was just browsing through our local infamous site " TalkingCock " and I found this 1Peanut dollar note!! HAHAHhahaha..this is freakin hilarious!! They also mentioned that just one 1Peanut bill is enough to buy three 4-room flats or 10 Nissan Sunnies.. Muahahaa.
As funny as it gets, there is a lesson lying within as well.. That is to Use your Blainz b4 you Talk or else you will end up (in) TalkingCock!! Power to the TalkingCock people!

Picture from © http://www.TalkingCock.com 2001-2003. All rights reserved.

The Misconception of Cookiss

Who is Cookiss? ....
-Gay guys loves telling Cookiss about their 'personal' adventures.
-Lesbians assumes she has a label.
-Drunk woman cannot differentiate Cookiss if SHE is a Man or a Woman.
-Friends always feed her with pornographic content.
-SSC customers thinks she is an alcoholic.
-Lulu calls her a Butch.
-Stephie calls her a Bitach.
-Mr Tham calls her a Groupie.
-Belle calls her Dark Angel.
-Lien calls her his No.1 Enemy.
-Chirstians thinks she is a Cult.

Yesh... Cookiss is none other then ME!
I feel so misunderstood, and I have to clarify my reputation right HERE right NOW!

TO MY GAY GUY FRIENDS - I like you guys very much but not when u start telling me about your 'special' & 'personnal' encounters with your partners! I dont wanna hear the details and I dont need the details! Spare me the details please!!

TO LESBOS & LULU & STEPHIE & DRUNK WOMEN ( all labels ) - I know I am not your normal kinda girly girly girl. You can make sure by asking if I am straight or not BUT dont just assume I am a lesbo, and start asking for my 'label'. How to give you a label when I am freaking STRAIGHT!! de Passives, you can touch me and kiss me all you want but you aint gonna get anything from me by doing that coz I am STRAIGHT!!

TO MY PORNOGRAPHIC FRIENDS - I am an ANTI-PORN woman! I feel porn degrades women and I refused to indulge in any porn to corrupt me brains. Intimacy should be private, and personal to couples, not posting it all over de media manz! And dun tell me dirty jokes coz I dont understand them and I dunnoe how to handle them.

TO THE ALCOHOLICS - I may have good alcohol knowledge & I work in a club but that doesnt mean I can drink manz, I am not pretending, I am really allergic to alcohol, one mouthful and I go mad. I can even die from taking alcohol. Unless you want me to die or else dun force me to drink! Thank you very much!!

TO BELLE & LIEN - I am not Dark and I am not your enemies!! I am your friend!! I just speak damn direct thats it. Friends gotto be frank to each other right? Come back to me soon!

TO MR THAM - I am NOT a groupie, I am just a BIG fan & friend k! I think groupies are mad people and I dun wanna be called a groupie!

TO THE "CHURCHY" PEEPZ - I am NOT a cult & I love God, maybe you peepz should check out the meaning of that word b4 you use it. And leave me alone DUN come near me! SHOO!

>>>>>Misconception of Cookiss - CASE CLOSED!

5leeping Uglies

Being Mean & Green, Xun & Cookiss99 have decided to start something in Friendster glorifying people who "sleeps around".. So be sure to visit this interesting Friendster account!

http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=3626398

So listen up ALL people who sleeps everywhere or anywhere in public!! DUN GO SLEEPING AROUND! Be scared be very scared.. Hurhurhur... We are D Evilz

OUR MISSION

To bring to you the ugliest sleeping positions known to mankind as our subjects pose, salivate and pout their way to being crowned "SLEEPIN UGLY". We have warned you bout the effects of "Sleepin Around", you'll never know when the "Hulk" would be taking the next photo of your sleeping escapades. In short : "Home is where the bed is."

Picture from Hulk and Sloth Productions (a member of the "Green and Lazy" group) 2005 All rights reserved

MuttonChop, ChickenChop, PorkChop OR Human Chop??

Now it seems the new trend is to have Human Chops! Why are people horrified when they see humans chopped up, we are meat afterall, so make the best out of it! Lets create a menu!

-Human brains soup ( instead of pig's we use human's , not much of a diff anyways )
-Roasted Sliced Human " Bak Kua" ( instead of sliced/minced pork we use sliced/minced human )
-Honey roasted Human thigh ( instead of chicken )
-Human " Bak Kut Teh " ( have as much soup as you want! )
-Human curry ( Hot stuff! Indian Fish-Head curry style! )
-Hainanese styled Human Rice ( sure ang mos like tt )
-Soup with Nutritious " Human Hair " ( Human hair aka Fat Choy, good in soups esp CNY! )
-Human Belly Sashimi ( the best part of sashimi )
-Suckling Human Roasted to perfection!
-Human Head Curry ( Indian Fish Curry Style )
-Human Trotters boiled in Black vinegar ( perfect for confinement new mothers!)

For more recipes & how you can order human meat please check out the link below..

http://web.archive.org/web/20010331032727/www.manbeef.com/home.html