House Of Hong Shui & Master HYR

Its my honor to get a chance to speak to Master HYR today. Master HYR has invented the new revolutionary way to direct/control/enhance the Human Hong Shui.

Master HYR also known as Hong Fei Hong has just opened a school called House of Hong Shui. Master HYR was kind enough for me to put up an interview on my blog. Here's the interview...

INTERVIEW WITH MASTER HYR

Me : Master HYR can you enlighten our readers here about your newly discovered "HongFu"?

HYR : I just invented...Hong Shui...the art of fine hongin...it's a delicate craft...this hong shui thru years of burning and stretching your skin...to make it super thick

Me : What would one be after learning this artistic formula from you?

HYR : u will be ...the Hong Shui madster..I'm quite proud of this new term

Me : Cool! Can you reveal to us a little of your secret fomulas? Any Examples?
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HYR : Master Master...I nneed more Hong!!! Patience my child...go rub your face with sandpaper for another 2 days let the blood flow and give birth to new thick skin.

Me : Wow! You have to be really thick skin to learn this "Hong Shui" !

HYR : there are practical lessons too..

Me : Would you mind sharing with us what are your practical lessons?

HYR : they put this really old, really fat, really ugly girl, sitting at the Hong Shui bar...and U have to chat her up everyday, making her feel she's Elizibeth Hurley...and then U must sweep her off her feet, which will be really jialat, coz she's too heavy and her acne will rub off and pus will drip on u

Me : That's a tough lesson isnt it?

HYR : and on top of that...u are balancing books on top of your head

Me : Thats incredible! Is that it? Does one qualify to be a disciple of yours?

HYR : u must at the same time master the art of cock cleavage then after u carry her to your room, then u will be given....Hong Shui disciple status...at the Hong Shui Si...

Me : (Applause!!) Have you got any ugly old hags they can choose from?

HYR : u can choose...btwn drum and drummer...the hag B - Horse Face OR.. the hag S - bee chiam kueh face

Me : Yucks! Doesnt sound very good, I bet they must really looked terrible! How much issit to learn this fine art from you?

HYR : At the House of Hong Shui, 6 million dollars to complete the course

Me : Mmm sounds pretty reasonable, imagine how much you have to pay the old ugly hags, and it's indeed a fine art! Ok we have come to the last question, Master HYR, what would you like to tell everybody here in conclusion of this interview?

HYR : remember to credit me! every one needs to know...I'm the House of Hong Shui inventor!!

Me : Sure Master HYR! Thank you for taking your precious time off from meditating the art-of-hongness for this interview!

HYR : buy!!

"Windy-Minded" Friends

What is Windy Minded? It means HONGSTERS! People who are "Hong" are desperados! Hehehe.. Well, just wanna talk about it here especially to some my friends! You know who you are lah! Hahha

To My Single & Available Guy friends,

I am not trying to obstruct your direction of "winds" OR "hong-ness" but have a balance manz! Dont let the "hong" grow into a tornado and destroy everything! HAHhaha!

Being a desperado and being a friend are TWO separate entities!! I think its how much you think of people actually. You can "hong" until you forget your mum & dad's name, you can even "hong" till you forget your own name! Who cares? But issit nice for you to "hong" till this extend or not?

Some people right, they can "hong" until they forget everything! Please loh, this kind of people you dare to be friends with them or not? I dont think so loh!

Come on! Be a MAN! Wanna hong? No Problem! Remember you have other priorities like WORK, FAMILY and FRIENDS!! Sincere Friendships are hard to come by, and it has to be a mutual thing!

I respect all "hong-ness" of a friend, but please remember! Dont hong until you forget I even existed! So easy, as simple as ABC..

Becoming Royston - The Movie

Wahaha.. Must watch this movie!! Shirlyn Tan from band UnXpected has a cool role in it!! She is de grouchy hair salon manager, heehe.. looks ah-lian-ish to me.. gangstar Shirl! WhahHHA

Anyways, I have yet to watch the show.. but the name sounds like its a story based on Royston Tan (the famous local movie director that went against all odds) .. I like him, I like his movies.. soo i am gonna watch.. some more got Shirlyn inside.. where can dont watch??!!

You can watch the trailers at the link below..

Becoming Royston- Trailer

My Cuzzie's Wedding

Congratulations Yee LIng and Raymond! Great wedding! Nice wedding gowns! Nice food! Thanks! May both you live happily together forever till the dawn of time.. once again COngratulations!

A "Ma-La-Licious" Night with 周华健 & FM!

Yesh, thanks to Funky Monkey Eric again, I met Emil Chau 周华健 in person today.. 周华健 is a really cool guy to hang out with.. lotsa laughter when he is around.

Eric introduced me to Emil at HRC, where Emil went up on stage and jamm with Eric. After HRC we went to some place to makan "MaLA" Steamboat.. they ordered so damn much food! I was full just looking at de amount of food. Everything was over-done today.. too much fame, fans, food, drinks, jokes and pictures! But still its fun!

Anyways, Mr Chau, I am sorry if i dissappointed you by tellin you my mum bought your album instead of me, BUT trust me! I listened to your new album 雨人 MORE times then my mum ok! And also, the lighter u gave me to give it to my mum, I passed it over to her oredi.. she is really happy! Hahhaha.. thanks for making our day!

People! Buy 周华健's latest album 雨人! Now!!!

The Ultimate SG Babe - TANYA CHUA 蔡健雅

Thanks to da Funkie Monkies, I gotto meet Tanya Chua 蔡健雅!! She is gorgoeus manz! Yesterday she performed at Fort Canning for this year's Art Festival, POPAgenda organized by NAC. I was touched by her performance, the way she sings, just tingle this "high" feelings within me, I stood right at the front of the stage even though the kick drum's sounds triggered my heart to pound irregularly. I just wanna watch her perform, plus Eric (Funky Monkey) went up on stage to jam with Tanya live, for 2 songs 无底洞 and 夜盲震, and as 小寒 had said, its magical to see them work/jam together.

Tanya Chua 蔡健雅 has just won the Best Female Singer in 17th Golden Melody Award in Taiwan last nite, she made Singapore proud! Well done Tanya!! CONGRATULATIONS! Her new song Beautiful Love is simply heavenly.. the gig today was fantastic.. all the most happening songs she sang.. truly music from the heart.. I can feel it manz!

Check out her new song Beautiful Love at the link below...

Beautiful Love MTV

Art Festival On Pop - POPagenda

This Year's Art Festival is COOL!! Got ALL my favourite people involved!!! POWER sial!!

10th June - LEONARD SOOSAY!!!
1800-1900 SESSION 3 – DIY EXPERIENCE
With increased exposure to good music from all around the world, a whole new generation of singer-songwriters are starting to take things into their own hands to create music and market it in the way they know how.

Inspired by their peers from other parts of the world and with the ease of recording at home, these music DIY’s practioners are sprouting up as an alternative source of music, sometimes achieving so much success in terms of sales figure that major labels are starting to offer contracts to them. We invite a few young musicians to share their experiences in the way they create and market their music.

Speakers: Leonard Soosay (Music Producer and Owner of Snakeweed Studio)
Ruth Ling (Singer-songwriter)

11th June - DICK LEE!!!! & My Bosses, ERIC NG & XIAOHAN!!!!
1500-1600 SESSION 4 – MUSIC WORKSHOP
BY DICK LEE
The session invites to have their original compositions assessed by guest singer-songwriters.

Speaker: Dick Lee (Singer/Composer/Record Producer, Music & Movement)
1600-1630 Break
1630-1730 SESSION 5 – MUSIC WORKSHOP BY ERIC NG & XIAO HAN
Guest singer-songwriters share their song writing experiences.

Speakers: Eric Ng (Composer/Record Producer, Funky Monkey)
Xiao Han (Lyricist)
Yao Chien (Lyricist, Chengtian Music Production)
Liang Wern Fu (Singer/Composer)

10th June 2006
Village Stage
4.00pm - Concave Scream (Singapore)
6.00pm - Chou Pi Jiang (Singapore)

11th June 2006
Village Stage
4.00pm - B-Quartet (Singapore)
4.30pm - Jai (Singapore)
Tanya Chua (Singapore)

The Day That Marks The Beast

Day 666, only happens once in our lifetimes, once in a millienuim that the date has a triple 6 (incomplete number in God's eyes) , 6th June 2006.

It's Slayer's Day! And movie THE Omen opens today as well!

Went to watched The Omen with Brandon and it was quite a dissappointing one. Well what do you expect on day666? Nothing! Crappy people in the cinema, crappy show and crappy moods! Oh well, nevermind.. I will try to see it in the Chinese point of view, 6 means luck in Chinese, soo.. alot of people chose this day to get married as well.. sooo..what I am trying to say is its just another day...arrrgg..nevermind lah!